What's Dis?

Huh? Where am I? What's dis Interweb thing?

Why iz it so hard type wif dese mittens on? What does dis say, I cannot read.

Oh, hai. My name is Rebecca Marquis and I was born yesterday at 7:25 pm. I do not like to miss Jeopardy!, so I came out just in time.

I weigh 6 lbs and 10 ounces. I really like eating. My mommy and daddy are pretty cool people, but I'm not sure they know what hey are doing.

Ok, I'm bored and tired now. I go bak to seepin. Kiss me I'm cute. Luhzu all, bye bye!

This Is Not My Baby

...but it doesn't mean she's any less cute.

This is actually my friends' baby. If you know, have met, or ever heard of my friend Chris, aka "Doc," this is his third daughter, Sophia Rachael. Sophie was born at 12:21 am on August 4. Despite being born nearly a month early, Sophie checked in at a healthy 7 lbs 3 oz and 19 1/2 inches.

Chris' wife and mine shared the same due date. Chris' wife was, like mine will be, induced. Chris' wife endured 31 hours in the hospital after the first doses of Pitocin before little Sophie decided to come out. Those numbers frighten me and my wife, but how can you stay upset when looking at a cute little face like that?

Congratulations to my friends on the new addition to their family. Chris now shares a home with his wife and three daughters who, in 2021, will be 18, 16, and 14. May God have mercy on his soul.

All Scrunchy & Chipmunkey

Well, that didn't take long. I have already missed a significant event in my daughter's life. Here's hoping that trend ends prenatally.

At my wife's most recent doctor's visit, the technician flipped that switch on the ultrasound machine. My wife was treated to a thirty-minute show of our daughter happily snuggled in the womb, winking, sticking her tongue out and being a general cutie pie. I, of course, felt I couldn't miss any work that day; gotta be a provider, you know. So my wife got to see our daughter's chipmunk cheeks, funny nose, and hairy head, while I sat in my office, virtually alone, waiting for my co-workers to arrive. They never would have known if I was not there.

Two of the photos are below, I hope this doesn't ruin any surprises when she is actually born.

Facing the Camera

If you are like my wife, your heart will flutter and your soul will yearn when you see the photographs below.

If you are like me, you will swell with pride, but struggle to hide you find the photographs below bizarre.



During my wife's most recent visit to the doctor, the technician performed a routine ultrasound and reassured us that all was well with our daughter. Before leaving the room, she flipped a switch on the ultrasound machine, and we got the photos below. Apparently, expectant parents who are really into prenatal looks can buy high resolution color photographs using the below technology. We're going to skip that, but at the very least, I am happy to see my daughter has a face.

Girlie Baby Photos

From the expectant parents who brought you the photo essays Amorphous Blob of Cells, "I Think It Has Wings", and The Thumbsucking Fetus, come the latest round of in utero photographs: The Little Miss & Her Developed Spine!

Having passed eighth grade biology,
I'm comfortable detailing the gender of my baby.
Now, stop looking at her there.

The beauty of the situation quickly deteriorated when
Daddy realized that he'd better start an orthodontics fund.
A profile. The wife thinks she looks like Curious George.
I say she more resembles this guy.

It's a Thumbsucker!

For the third time in the past twelve weeks, I saw the most incredible thing today.

That's right, my baby has a HUGE head (possible career as San Fransisco Giant in the future?), arms, and legs! The photos taken this morning were the clearest images of our baby to date and it was the most incredible thing I've ever seen...until this was taken:I could have spent all morning watching this little (3 inches!) life sleep and wiggle its little arms around. But, as I'm learning, being a parent goes beyond just providing for and marveling at a child. It means worrying that my child might grow up different than its parents as a lefthander. And it also means that, like daddy, this kid's gonna need some braces. But it's waaaay too early to worry about that.

More Blobby Baby Photos

At ten weeks old, this is what my unborn child looks like. It is still way to early to tell whether it is a boy or girl, or even a human. From the looks of it, this one-inch creature is either going to be a baby human, a tadpole, or possibly some kind of flying rodent.

I will keep you posted on what this amorphous blog becomes.

First Baby Photos

I don't believe in magic, hocus pocus, or special powers like that. I have my doubts about fate, god, religion and non-empirical beings.

So does someone want to explain to me why, after seeing this photograph, all of my fears, anxieties, worries, doubts and stresses melted away? Must be magic.