Things My Child Will NOT See
Predictably, we've been watching a good deal of "Birth Day" lately. Over the weekend, we caught two episodes, Natural Birth and Home Birth - The Bradley Method, that featured a somewhat disturbing trend: siblings in the delivery room.
I'm not talking about adult, teenage, or even adolescent children assisting in delivery, I am talking about toddlers and elementary-school-age children, confused and frightened as their mother screams during contractions.
I should have thought about this when I was learning about Free Birth, but was too distracted by questions about linens. Far be it from me to criticize how someone handles their delivery, but in how is involving a four-year-old in childbirth a good idea?
In the episode I watched, a New Mexico woman had her son in her delivery room while she gave birth naturally, without any pain medicine. During the episode, this child tried to distract his mother by reading to her during contractions (cute), put his hand over his mother's mouth as she screamed during labor, had to be pulled away from his mother by his father during delivery, and watched in (I can only imagine) horror as his mother's perineum tore (this is an assumption, but it's my wife's best guess). The camera showed him turning away as his sibling's shoulder's were caught in his mother's pelvis and had to be gently twisted out of her vagina.
Like with my friends the Free Birthers, I can almost understand the mentality. I can almost buy that childbirth is a natural, beautiful process that should be shared with the whole family. I can almost see that perspective. Childbirth is a beautiful moment, adding a family member is special. But the act of childbirth is no place for, ironically, a child. Would these same people allow their four-year-olds to watch movies or television programs that contained the amount of blood, or pain, or screaming, or even nudity that often accompanies childbirth?
Again, I don't deny that the moment of childbirth isn't beautiful and special. I allow that delivering a new life into this world is seen as a miracle. I think that children should be fully aware and invested in their mother's pregnancy and their sibling's lives. I just really don't agree that it is appropriate for a child to be in the delivery room.
And to those people that believe otherwise, more power to you. But I ask you this, if having your child present during their sibling's birth is so important to you, where were they during the conception?
I'm not talking about adult, teenage, or even adolescent children assisting in delivery, I am talking about toddlers and elementary-school-age children, confused and frightened as their mother screams during contractions.
I should have thought about this when I was learning about Free Birth, but was too distracted by questions about linens. Far be it from me to criticize how someone handles their delivery, but in how is involving a four-year-old in childbirth a good idea?
In the episode I watched, a New Mexico woman had her son in her delivery room while she gave birth naturally, without any pain medicine. During the episode, this child tried to distract his mother by reading to her during contractions (cute), put his hand over his mother's mouth as she screamed during labor, had to be pulled away from his mother by his father during delivery, and watched in (I can only imagine) horror as his mother's perineum tore (this is an assumption, but it's my wife's best guess). The camera showed him turning away as his sibling's shoulder's were caught in his mother's pelvis and had to be gently twisted out of her vagina.
Like with my friends the Free Birthers, I can almost understand the mentality. I can almost buy that childbirth is a natural, beautiful process that should be shared with the whole family. I can almost see that perspective. Childbirth is a beautiful moment, adding a family member is special. But the act of childbirth is no place for, ironically, a child. Would these same people allow their four-year-olds to watch movies or television programs that contained the amount of blood, or pain, or screaming, or even nudity that often accompanies childbirth?
Again, I don't deny that the moment of childbirth isn't beautiful and special. I allow that delivering a new life into this world is seen as a miracle. I think that children should be fully aware and invested in their mother's pregnancy and their sibling's lives. I just really don't agree that it is appropriate for a child to be in the delivery room.
And to those people that believe otherwise, more power to you. But I ask you this, if having your child present during their sibling's birth is so important to you, where were they during the conception?
Labels: delivery
Delivered by SteveJeltzFan. Born on 8/13/2007 04:22:00 PM PERMALINK
1 Comments:
my then 2 1/2 year old daughter was at our home while i had her brother (at home). we did a lot of preparing her for this, including watching birth videos (which she loved), talking about the noises mommy might make during labor and birth, and reading the book "welcome with love" - written from a child's perspective about his mother giving birth at home. we did not force her to be in the room while i gave birth, but i feel she was well-prepared and knew what was going on (even at 2 1/2 yrs old). my daughter left the room during the final birthing of her brother as we felt things were too intense at that point (and my sister was here to help out and distract her).
but all in all, it went very well and, 8 months later, my daughter still has great memories of her brother's birth.
i think every child is different and i would never recommend forcing a child to be present for their sibling's birth (which kind of sounds like what happened on the shows you watched), but i think for the children who want to be present, it can be a beautiful and wonderful thing. :)
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