Becoming A Parent
Last night, we became parents. Not in a literal sense, so save your cards and gifts. Our baby is still inside my wife, still growing and enjoying herself for the next few weeks. She is, by all accounts, healthy and happy. Though for a few hours last night, we weren't sure.
The facts of last night are simple. My wife realizes she hasn't felt our baby move or kick in an unusually long period of time. We call the doctor, who recommends a hospital visit. We drop everything and sprint to the hospital. After a few anxious moments, mommy and baby are monitored, both heartbeats are strong, and both are fine. A few hours later, we leave and go home.
If only it were as simple as the facts.
I cannot recall a time that I felt as scared and helpless as I did for those few brief minutes between home and the hospital. The clock told me it was about 20 minutes, but it felt like ten times that.
As a future father, you're given shreds of responsibility while your wife is pregnant. As she progresses, you (hopefully) take on more than you have, whether it be cooking, cleaning, assorted chores, or just making sure she has enough water, juice, or space to stretch out. You can fool yourself into thinking that obtaining and constructing furniture gives you a good feeling of being "the provider." But now I think that none of that is really being a parent. It's merely a foundation.
Becoming a parent happens on an emotional level. It happens when everything else in the world ceases to exist or matter except for the child in your care. It happens when all modesty is thrown out the window. It happens when you are overcome with a range of emotions - concern, fear, anxiety, relief, happiness - that hit you with a force you have never felt before. It happens not when you realize that you have to care for someone who cannot care for herself-- it happens when you begin to care for someone who cannot care for herself.
I imagine if you are a parent reading this, you are smiling and nodding your head - even laughing at my breakthrough "discovery." My wife even remarked last night that we went through a parental rite of passage last night - the prenatal scare.
This blog was founded on my musings of becoming a father and for all the thinking, hypothesizing, and typing I've done on the subject, there was no time to ponder last night. Yes, I think my wife and I became parents last night by shear reflex.
All the preparation in the world can go out the window sometimes. I think being a parent has a lot to do with what happens after it does.
The facts of last night are simple. My wife realizes she hasn't felt our baby move or kick in an unusually long period of time. We call the doctor, who recommends a hospital visit. We drop everything and sprint to the hospital. After a few anxious moments, mommy and baby are monitored, both heartbeats are strong, and both are fine. A few hours later, we leave and go home.
If only it were as simple as the facts.
I cannot recall a time that I felt as scared and helpless as I did for those few brief minutes between home and the hospital. The clock told me it was about 20 minutes, but it felt like ten times that.
As a future father, you're given shreds of responsibility while your wife is pregnant. As she progresses, you (hopefully) take on more than you have, whether it be cooking, cleaning, assorted chores, or just making sure she has enough water, juice, or space to stretch out. You can fool yourself into thinking that obtaining and constructing furniture gives you a good feeling of being "the provider." But now I think that none of that is really being a parent. It's merely a foundation.
Becoming a parent happens on an emotional level. It happens when everything else in the world ceases to exist or matter except for the child in your care. It happens when all modesty is thrown out the window. It happens when you are overcome with a range of emotions - concern, fear, anxiety, relief, happiness - that hit you with a force you have never felt before. It happens not when you realize that you have to care for someone who cannot care for herself-- it happens when you begin to care for someone who cannot care for herself.
I imagine if you are a parent reading this, you are smiling and nodding your head - even laughing at my breakthrough "discovery." My wife even remarked last night that we went through a parental rite of passage last night - the prenatal scare.
This blog was founded on my musings of becoming a father and for all the thinking, hypothesizing, and typing I've done on the subject, there was no time to ponder last night. Yes, I think my wife and I became parents last night by shear reflex.
All the preparation in the world can go out the window sometimes. I think being a parent has a lot to do with what happens after it does.
Labels: Health, parental responsibility
Delivered by SteveJeltzFan. Born on 7/25/2007 08:56:00 AM PERMALINK
2 Comments:
I hope you guys are feeling better; scares like the one you had aren't fun. My big scare came when my daughter was 15 months old, and I swear the incident took years off my life. I don't think I've slept through the night since then.
Still, I feel it is my duty as an experienced parent to point out the truth in what Chekov said: "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out." That's the reality of potty training, the "terrible twos," etc.
Glad to hear everything is okay. If you are looking for special newborn baby gift ideas for friends and family, you will love Babygiftnewborn.com.
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