So, What is Your Stance on Rectal Thermometers?

I have a big interview today. Not with a reporter or employer, but with a doctor. Actually, with a stable of doctors. We're in the market for a pediatrician, and I'll be attending a new-parent orientation at a practice nearby tonight.

I've never given much thought to my own medical care. Since being responsible for my own health and health insurance, I don't think I've ever gone to the same doctor twice. Between moving and moving jobs, I found myself picking a doctor, going for a physical, and never returning. But now I'm looking for some consistency.

Rarely did I conduct any sort of research to find a doctor. Location was key - the office has to be close to my home or office - but far enough away to justify leaving work early without having to come back. God bless the 3:30 pm doctor's appointment. Sometimes, when I felt frisky, I'd use the different searchable categories provided by my insurer to narrow down the doctor search. For a while, it was very important that my doctor be fluent in Portuguese. Fere quando eu faço este, Doc!

So I've get to interview pediatricians tonight, and I get to do it alone. My Lovely Wife has been taking enough time off work to visit doctors, so this time, it is my turn. Now, I'm looking forward to this, surely I'll be the hero of the neo-maternal set, the dashing expectant father, looking out for his family. But, honestly, this is a recipe for disaster. Where my wife would have the brains to ask about afterhours services, immunizations, and insurance information, my primary concern is whether they have Dum-Dum lollipops or the flat kind that my bank has. (Really, is there any better feeling than getting the Dum-Dum with the question mark wrapper and absolutely nailing the flavor? "The mystery flavor is...cream soda.")

I'm scribbling down some intelligent questions today, mainly dealing with afterhours services, immunizations, and insurance information. My fallback question will be "Yes, how many times do we get to call and ask "Why is my baby crying? What am I doing wrong? Is there something wrong with my baby?" before we are transferred to another practice?