The Ides of May

Yesterday was the 15th of the month and you know what that means...

• Check bank account online to ensure direct deposit has been deposited directly
• Pay outrageous condominium association fee so those geriatric-home style carpets in the hallway are cleaned regularly
• Mentally prepare for baby arriving two weeks sooner than last internal freakout
• Write e-mails to day care centers extolling virtues of unborn child

So about that last one.

Identifying and touring day care centers was the easy part. Actually being moved from waitlist to accepted by said centers is a modern-day equivalent of the "Ooh, ooh pick me" days of elementary school dodgeball.

Apparently, cutting a check for $50-$125 or facing an uncertain future wherein I bring my daughter to work in my briefcase, then quietly rock her to sleep in my file drawer, isn't enough to prove to day care centers that I am serious about their services.

Every single place I toured recommended regular e-mails or communications, about once a month, to "just stay in touch." Apparently, some overzealous parents take this a step further, offering baked good bribes and more to the center. (Hey, any of you caretakers have an employment issue with the federal government? How about a pending zoning request in front of the Parks and Planning Commission? I got the hook up).

I understand that expectant parents blanket any available infant care center within a five-mile radius of their home and their office. I understand that these facilities do not want to waste their time with parents that are not seriously intersted in placing their child in that center. I'm not sure why it costs me money -- more money than it did to apply for college, when someone had to read and process my credentials -- to write down my name and phone number on a list.

But, as is protocol, I happily cut the checks, and cheerfully send an e-mail on the 15th of every month. Sometimes, there is an actual point to the e-mail, like last month's, which revealed Baby TBD is now Baby Daughter TBD. This month's e-mail was more focused on the recent string of nice weather in the DC area.

So the e-mails have been sent, and a few even wrote back ("thanks for staying in touch!"). In the meantime, can focus on other things for 29 more days, until June 15, when the same day care centers will receive the same e-mail from me. Seems silly, since we're not even looking until the first of December, maybe even January.

By the time my daughter enrolls in a day care, she'll have spent more time its waiting list than inside my wife's uterus.