What Will She Look Like?

I've got a lot of questions about my daughter. Will she be a crier? How much will she sleep? Will she be into Barbie? Does she like yellow? Most of these questions can only be learned in due time. But there are a few things that I won't have any control or input on and the one that I've been wrestling with is, "What will she look like?"

Now, I've already weighed in on who she currently resembles, but once she arrives in the oxygen-breathing world, it will be different. I think that I'm a pretty good-looking guy and I'm married to the most beautiful woman in the world, so what could go wrong? Well, if I know anything about genetics, it's that I don't know anything about genetics. But if I recall correctly from high school science class, sometimes things can add up in ways you never saw coming.

Let me step in front of the mirror and see whether my good looks will help or hinder my daughter.

• Broad Shoulders - Yes, they help distribute my weight a bit, but squeezing through crowds can get bumpy. And broad shoulders on a guy? Potential linebacker. Broad shoulders on a girl? Well, hope she can cook.
• Blue Eyes - Perhaps my finest asset. My blue eyes seem to change hue slightly depending on my mood or my attire. Put them in a girl's head, and they inspire high school emo guys to write stomach-churning metaphors like, "two gleaming sapphire pearls, nestled a'center the facial oyster." I used to pull crap like that, and my intentions were not pure. Let's hope for the brown eyes, and not anything resembling a puppy dog's.
• Legs - To say my legs were shapely would assume that "tree trunk" is a shape. They've gotten me from Point A to Point B, and served me well through years of playing catcher. On a woman, however, they'd probably look a bit out of place...or she could take up soccer.
• Hair - Yes, it is very dark. Yes, it is very straight. Yes, women who cut my hair compliment me from time to time. But it is also thick and hot. I had long hair for a while, but almost never wore it "down" for this very reason. Can't imagine that'd be comfortable on a girl.

I could go on, but it's getting a bit depressing. It's a good thing I was born a male, because it seems I'd make one awkward looking woman. I'm going to sit back and pray that my daughter takes more from her mommy than her daddy.