Born in DC, Raised in Amarillo

I want to be the guy who names paint colors.

We recently painted most of our new condo, in preparation to move next week. Between Home Depot and the local paint store, My Lovely Wife and I took in hundreds of color samples from all over the spectrum. No longer are there just the simple ROY G BIV colors. Today's paint colors comes in all types:

• Edible: Eggshell, Avocado, Celery, Artichoke
• Emotional: Harmony, Tranquility, Serenity
• Fauna: Lilac, Rose, Azalea
• Sports Themed: Phillies Red, Notre Dame Gold, UNC Blue
• Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals Judges: Pamela Ann Rymer Green, Alex Kozinski Violet

Our main living and dining room areas came out perfectly. Soft earth tones matching our furniture with a complementary accent wall.

For our nursery, we wanted something gender-neutral yet "bright." So we sorted through the yellows. We considered sun rise and lemon cake, egg yolk and caution light, bum's urine and fool's gold before we settled on daffodil. The sample looked great.

After seeing the great work our painters did in the main living areas, My Lovely Wife and I dashed down the hall to the second bedroom. We threw open the door and there it was. Four daffodil walls staring back at us...and nearly burning our retinas.

Apparently, daffodil is the most intense shade of yellow ever conceived. The only possible yellow with more intensity is the sun.

Now, we're not upset with our color choice, though if we had to choose again, we may have opted for "sunflower" instead. It's just that now we will have to raise our child in "the yellow room." It almost sounds as cool as "the man in the yellow hat."

"The yellow room" exudes metaphoric sunshine. Daffodil yellow reflects so much light, my kid won't be afraid of the boogie monster until freshman year in college.

The best part of the yellow room is that it doubles as our guest room before our child's arrival. So if any of you are in need of a little pick-me-up or just feel like you don't get enough exposure to the sun in the course of your daily events, our door is always open.